Religious Trauma

Bella Mastrobuono '24

"Now for a moment of silence"

I can hear my own heartbeat.

The silence felt like forever.

Thump

Thump

Thump...

I shouldn't be this nervous.

Should I?

As everyone around me is clueless of the memories and thoughts that are eating me up,

I seem to only be able to hear my heartbeat and heavy breathing.

Thump

Thump

Thump...

I become self-conscious:

Am I really breathing that loudly?

Can everyone hear me?

Even though I'm here physically, and I'm doing this for you, mentally I'm exhausted.

Am I going to Hell?

Is Hell even real?

Am I blaming the wrong person?

Is this all my fault?

Is this trauma that I went through just a mindset that I can't seem to let go of?

Maybe I'm the problem...

Religious trauma?

No, you're the one in the wrong