Celina Bagchi '24
even
though you hold her, you know she’s long gone;
she’s slipping like water through your fingers,
like a memory and a dream you can’t quite
recall when your eyelids flutter open
stars
dance across her skin, and you
skate your fingertips over her cheek, trying
to memorize the way it feels to have
a love so pure;
and you know she is
the only thing in the world worth worshiping—
her body the only god whose altar you kneel at,
your missing puzzle piece
die
like an angel, you’d
die for her, to make her whole again, to
heal the scars every boy who came before you
gave her; but she is brighter
because of them and you wish you
could teach her to love them
to love her
the way you do
before
her, there was nothing.
endless, nameless existence, being without living,
not knowing what it is to have
life breathed into you by the touch of another,
but you know she will never believe you;
she’s been
blinded too many times before by pretty lies to know
what truth looks like anymore—
and nothing is truer than your love
their
names will be forgotten; you swear
you will erase them with every caress, give her
the world and more because she is your world, because
you see the world in her
light
cuts through the darkness of her world, but
it’s not bright enough to draw her gaze to you,
not enough to convince her to
fall into your arms, to believe
that you will catch her when she does
reaches
open-armed, she reaches, fingers outstretched
but her fingers barely graze your chest and you see
the light dim, you see her
remember herself, you see her
fall away from you even when she is still
standing before you—
and you know then that she is not
yours
anymore
us
but there is no us, my love, is there?
i tried to cut through
the noise
but you still don’t know
what love sounds like
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